The Observer
by DigiAnimeArtist
Summary: This is kind of an OOC parody/comedy type of story that is based on the characters getting stalked by a nature show called The Observer that is out to film rare breeds of ninja!


Announcer: Hi folks and welcome to The Observer

"Hi folks and welcome to The Observer. Today we are gathered here in the forest to observe the most rarity of creatures, and possibly, the most misunderstood. We are tracking the sly, cautious breed of Sasuke. "The announcer moves back with his microphone as the camera crew follows him farther into the woods. The man puts on his camouflage hat and crouches down low. "From this point on, we must only whisper, for he may be distracted and flee from our presence. The Sasuke is very cautious and skeptical in nature, so we must do our best not to let him allude us."

The camera crew follows deeper into the woods. The announcer and crew duck under a few low branches. A bird swoops over head and another flutters off, startled by their footsteps of cracking limps. The announcer holds his hand up. He points to his ear and tells his crew to listen carefully. "We must watch our footing. It's a bit slippery up ahead with all of the rain we had last night. I want all of you to follow me and keep your eyes out for Sasuke. I'm hoping the gloomy atmosphere of the weather will attract him."

"Alright, folks, our crew is going to station themselves here at this lake. We're hoping after some time that we will be able to see various ninja approach the water for sustenance. From here on out, we will go silent. I want all camera crews to stay at the ready," the announcer spoke as the cameras all became low.

After some time of waiting, the cameras zoom on to a presence moving far off into the bushes. At first, it is only a blur of orange moving through the trees. They remain still and tense as a figure drops to the ground, approaching the water cautiously. "Folks, this is amazing. We've managed to get a glimpse of the hyperactive breed of Naruto! It's more than our colleagues at The Observer could ever hope for. Shh. Shh. There he goes. Let's see how he gets the water out of the lake."

The viewers watch in astonishment as Naruto approaches the water. He hears movement and he turns his gaze off to his left, ears alerted by some kind of noise. Naruto stays very still until he is sure the animal is gone. He makes his way back to the water, his eyes looking around, but once he is sure he is alone, he speeds up and goes to the water happily. Naruto crouches instantly at the water, cupping it into his hands as he gets a drink of water. The announcer is pointing with tremendous joy and exclaiming what a wonderful sight it was to see Naruto in his own familiar habitat – and in action. After the breed of Naruto has finished quenching his thirst, he runs off and is gone in a flash!

"That folks was absolutely amazing! I wonder what else we will see while we are on our stakeout for the rare Sasuke! I'm hoping he will come by, but one cannot be too overdrawn with this sort of situation! He hasn't been sighted in a long time and to catch such a glimpse of a wonderful cautious breed is a great honor. Oh, folks, wait! I think another breed of some sort is approaching the lake. Shh! Shh!" The announcer signaled for quiet.

The viewers watch as the cautious, shy breed of Hinata approaches the area. Her eyes are looking around and wondering if there is anyone out there to get her. The announcer points smiling as the Hinata moves towards the water with grace and simplicity. The viewers watch as Hinata turns to her side and keeps an eye on the bushes and trees while she dips her hands into the cool water. "This is simply amazing! We have already seen a Naruto and now we are blessed to see a Hinata straight after! I wonder how she will react to-," the announcer is cut off as a blast of wind sends Hinata away from the water and off into the distance. "Oh, no folks! It looks like the breed of Temari has dominated the lake for the time being. Let's watch and see what happens." The announcer signals for quiet again.

Temari approaches the lake with confidence and stride. She isn't afraid of anything as she dips to get her drink from the lake. Suddenly, she is alerted by something in the shadows that she cannot see. Temari crouches in a defense pose, putting her fan in front of herself. "What could she possibly be noticing out there? Let's watch and see if trouble is a brewing!" Temari narrows her eyes as a slow creature moves away from the tree he was hiding behind. She flutters her eyes as she notices the breed of Shikamaru. The Shikamaru approaches the Temari slowly but smiling a little as he takes a drink of water beside her. The viewers watch as the Temari leans onto the Shikamaru and they walk off together.

"Folks, I couldn't be luckier than I am at this moment! We have already seen a Naruto, a Hinata, a Temari, and now a breed of Shikamaru! Such a slow, impatient creature it is! Who would have thought that it would be able to get the advances with the Temari! Now we sit and wait!" The announcer sat upon the ground as he turned around to keep his eye on the lake.

After an hour, another figure came into view. It was rather fast and a blur of green and orange. The announcer's jaw dropped as the creature got a quick drink and spun away from the lake. "Folks, our camera crew is trying to slow down the images of what we just witnessed! What an amazing creature! Do you see that folks?! If we slow the picture down we can see that it was the breed of Lee! Such a fast, carefree creature! And we have it on tape ladies and gentlemen!"

More time passed and the camera crew was starting to get impatient just like the Shikamaru. They signaled for the announcer to listen. The camera zoomed in on two breeds of Ino and Sakura approaching the lake. The two breeds were arguing over who got to drink from it first. The views watch in astonishment as the Sakura challenges the Ino, but doesn't back down when the Ino hits her in the shoulder. The Sakura huffs and crosses her arms but not before announcing that she is just as good as the Ino. The Ino denounces the Sakura's challenge and approaches the lake still arguing. The announcer signals for more zooming action of the camera. The camera gets as close as it can as it homes in on the Ino and Sakura drinking from the lake. The two breeds leave the lake still arguing and fighting for dominance.

The announcer signals for his camera crew to go around the lake in a different angle. They move around the lake, hoping to find other rare breeds of Ninja that have been sporting out the lake. The camera crew takes refuge behind a few large boulders. They wait patiently as the day hits mid-afternoon. "I think our camera guy, Chris, has just spotted the breed of Shino approaching the lake. He seems to be a bit laid-back. The Shino is a creature that doesn't speak unless it has something important to say. Let's watch to how he approaches the water ladies and gentlemen."

The Shino walks towards the lake looking to his left and right cautiously. He lifts his finger and a bug lands on it. He listens to the bug and nods his head affirming that the water is safe and there are no other breeds around. The Shino approaches the water and crouches. The viewers watch as the Shino puts the water into a container. He stands up, looks to his left again and to his right before walking off. "This is amazing folks! This breed of Shino has mastered using a tool to contain his water! Simply amazing!"

"Shh, folks, we must crouch low! I think a rare, hostile breed is approaching! No one move, or make any noise. If the Gaara finds us behind these rocks, we will decapitate us! And we don't wish our viewers or colleagues at The Observer to see such a ghastly sight!" The camera crew and announcer crouch all of the way to the ground as they feel the movement of earth under their bodies. The camera vibrates a little.

The breed of Gaara approaches the water hole as he forces the sand to moves his body to it. He has his arms crossed, eyes looking straight ahead and doesn't seem to be all that happy with being out in the open. The Gaara walks towards the lake looking around with an angry expression. He keeps his feet planted and body stiff as he commands the sand from his gourd to get the water for him. The viewers watch as the sand forms into the water and brings up a nice puddle for the Gaara. The Gaara opens his canteen and the sand turns slightly like a large flat bowl and dumps the water into the canteen. The Gaara looks around again before commanding the sand to take him away.

"Folks, we have caught the rare and hostile Gaara on camera! I am absolutely astonished again! Let's hope our luck continues to hold!' The announcer signals his camera crew to move again to another part of the lake. This time, they are in the water, completely camouflaged so they can get a better view.

Another breed came into view sniffing the air, his eyes darting around. The breed of Kiba could smell others in the area. His guard was up and body tense as he growled lowly and approached the water. The Kiba looked around his surroundings again. He could swear something was amiss. There was no one around him that he could see, or any noises that he could hear, but he could smell them. The Kiba approached the water slowly. He bent his head down to get a drink of water. Just as the camera whirred to get a better view of him, the Kiba sat up alerted by the noise. He saw something black sticking out from the cat tails in the lake. The Kiba leapt at the things in the cat tails, his claws out and growled and snarled.

The camera crew started to run out of the water being chased by the aggressive Kiba! They yelled in horror as the Kiba attacked a camera man! The other camera man, Ricky, kept his camera on the incidence as the Kiba managed to swipe his claws at his colleague's arm. The man screamed in terror as he managed to push the Kiba off, but not without circumstance. The Kiba went after the man and tore the back of his pants with his teeth as they high tailed it away from the aggressive Kiba!

The crew takes some time to get their gear back in order. The announcer smoothes down his hair as the camera man, Ricky, gets his arm bandaged. "It seems we are going to take a break for the moment, folks, until we get things back in order. Let's look to our faithful sponsors while we regroup. Stay tuned to more of The Observer!"

The viewers watch as a young man sporting a white mask and long dark brown hair comes into view on the screen. He stands still with his hands out in front of his body. The commercial sings," 5 ryo. 5 ryo for a foot long," and the image reveals a need for a sub sandwich. The boy nods his head and disappears in a flash of water as the image moves to a woman walking down the street. She stops and smiles looking at the camera as she shakes her head, her red eyes alerted by Godzilla attacking the village. She mouths, "No, no." "5 ryo. 5 ryo for a foot long." The commercial moves to a man who is instructing his three students on proper kicks. One student misses his target and the trainer shakes his head as he wears his green jumpsuit. The man smiles big at the screen giving a thumb's up before putting his hands out in front of his body. "5 ryo. 5 ryo for a foot long". A man is standing with his foot on a wall as he takes a drag off of his cigarette. He exhales slowly as he looks up to see a young man buying a toy with his money. He shakes his head at the boy before putting his arms out in front of his body. "5 ryo. 5 ryo for a foot long. Come to subway, where it's fresh! And now through a limited time offer, you too, can get a subway sandwich for 5 ryo!"

"Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. We at The Observer appreciate your sponsorship. Thank you all for staying with us in the meantime. Our camera man, Ricky, has agreed to continue helping us scout out the ninja breeds we are looking for. He is fine and is slightly bruised with scratches from the wild, aggressive, Kiba, but he is doing fine." The camera zooms in on the other camera man and he waves nonchalantly. "Alright, lets continue to observe the lake," the announcer said as he signaled for quiet again. The team kept very still. They watched as a brown puppet came moving out of the woods as if it were trying to lure any enemies to the shadows. Nothing came forward, so the breed controlling the puppet, known as Kankuro, pulled a Matrix move by lowering his body to hover over the lake with his chakra strings. The viewers watched as the Kankuro took his time getting water. He knew there was no way any other breed could attack him from his position. The Kankuro drank his fill before he zoomed back into the trees and disappeared. "Simply amazing! What a wonderful, mysterious breed that was! The Kankuro is mostly native to the Wind Country, but we have seen that it likes to move seasonally throughout other areas.

The viewers watch as a breed known as the TenTen moves towards the lake. She is hesitant and lacking confidence. The TenTen moves closer, but not without withdrawing a weapon for her own safety. Once she has cleared the area with her eyes and noting what was around her, she moves again to the water. The TenTen crouches and fills her canteen quickly before she stands back up to leave the area. She is determined to press on.

"Wonderful, wonderful. I couldn't ask for a better crew or a better day to come all of the way out here to view the wonderful creatures we have seen today! All of our efforts have been put together by a team that has been working on this show for months at hand. The breeds coming from the ninja countries are hard enough to find, but we have been lucky today to witness all that we have seen," the announcer said rather fast. He signaled again for his crew to remain quiet and still.

The viewers watch a tall, lanky breed with gray hair approaches the water without care or concern. "This is simply astonishing! We are witnessing the approach of the Kakashi! It seems he has his attention elsewhere into some sort of reading material! I wonder what he is reading and what knowledge it posses. Let's watch as the Kakashi gets water from the lake!" The viewers watch as the Kakashi dips down and puts his hand into the water. He moves his hand to his hip and withdraws a canteen. The Kakashi holds the book up firmly to his face before he dips the water. He leaves the cap off and brings the canteen behind the book to take a drink of water. "Look at that, folks! The Kakashi is trying hard for us to not see his face! What a modest creature he is!" The Kakashi stands up and walks off from the lake slowly and not interested in the world.

The announcer moves his team once more around the lake, trying to pick a spot that is lush in vegetation. He crouches low to the ground as the viewers and his crew hear an awful munching noise. They all freeze as a breed of Chouji comes walking out of the bushes near them. The Chouji stuffs his face full of chips and other commodities as he approaches the water. He takes one look at the announcer and the crew, but pays them no mind as he goes to the water. The Chouji bends down and opens his mouth like a mighty bear and swallows ounce after ounce of water. He lifts his bandaged hand to his mouth and wipes it clean of any stray water droplets. The Chouji walks off slowly, still munching on his snacks. "The Chouji is a breed that is known to constantly eat. It only hibernates at night, which is amazing considering how big it is!"

The viewers watch as an annoyed breed of Neji walks towards the water. The Neji stops, stands still and looks around his surroundings. He senses something is wrong. He fears he is being watched. The Neji moves a few feet closer. The camera crew tenses and dares not to breathe. If the Neji attacks, they won't make it out alive. His speed and determination is like no other breed of the ninja. He approaches the water, but turns his back to it so he can keep his eyes on the surroundings. The Neji crouches quickly, eyes watching as he dips his canteen into the water. He puts the canteen full of water back onto the attachment as his waist before he moves away from the lake at high speed.

"Wow. I thought he was going to catch us for sure," the camera man known as Chris said. He sighed a breath of relief. Ricky, the other camera man turned around to nod his head, giving a victory sign. They had gotten the shot. They would now have to wait until nightfall to see if they could catch the Sasuke.

Night couldn't come faster. The camera crew watched as the darkness enveloped the forest around them. Fireflies started to play and glow upon the surface of the lake. The trees rustled overhead casting an eerie ambiance. The camera crew tensed and didn't take their eyes off of the lake. If they were going to get a shot of the Sasuke, now would be the time to do it. They waited hours into the eve, their bodies cold and chilled from the air.

A dark figure slowly approached the lake, its form moving quietly and without tension. The figure stopped. It looked around with its dark eyes before continuing to move closer to the water. It was a pale figure that stood out from the rest of the breeds seen that day. The announcer gave his thumbs up sign. He was right on target. They held their breath as the Sasuke came to the waters edge. The breed of Sasuke stood for a moment only staring back at its reflection. The viewers watched as the Sasuke sighed a bit depressed about his current state. He bent down to cup his hands into the dark water before taking a drink.

The Sasuke took his time, closing his eyes as he let the cool water go down his throat. He opened his eyes again, letting his hands falls as he remained crouched at the water's edge. He sighed again, trying to sort out his current status amongst his fellow creatures. The Sasuke turned his head to see the Sakura moving towards him from out of the woods. The Sakura was hesitant, her eyes watching him. She was trying to win over the Sasuke with her soft advances, but he wasn't interested. The Sasuke looked away from her, ignoring her. The viewers watched in horror was an orange blur came out of nowhere tackling the Sasuke to the ground. The Naruto was also demanding attention from the Sasuke. The Naruto looked down at him and challenged the Sasuke to a fighting competition. The Sakura was forgotten as the Sasuke sat up. The Sasuke agreed to the challenge. As the Sasuke and Naruto walked off together the Sakura yelled for them to wait and went after them.

"This episode of The Observer has been brought to you by Subway! Eat Fresh, eat healthy, and live long and prosper! Thanks to all of our colleagues and others who helped get our show under way! We now have it confirmed that was indeed the Sasuke! We now have him on tape! We have him for the whole world to,-" the announcer was cut off by snarling and growling coming from behind him. He whirled around to see an angry breed leap at him from over the bushes. The Kiba was back! It had not given up on destroying the pants it had sunk its teeth into earlier. "Run away! It's the Kiba! We must save the evidence!"

The Kiba chased the cameramen and announcer out of the woods at high speed snarling and growling at full force. It swiped its claws at the people who had disturbed it earlier. The cameramen tried to run, but the Kiba retaliated by getting a hold of one of the cameras. It smashed the camera against the tree before going after the announcer responsible for all of the commotion. The announcer screamed like a frightened little girl as the Kiba jumped on his back. The camera man Ricky, who was attacked earlier, kept his camera rolling as him and Chris made a run for it. The announcer's clothes were flying into the air in shreds!


End file.
